Ya know when you’re confined to a wonderful, and amazing place like the county hotel, you have a lot of time to think. And seeing how i was facing some lengthy time, so i thought, i would have plenty of time to reflect over my life. I wasn’t really into the whole “coming to one’s-self” as people like to say, but this time i really didn’t have much of a choice. For one simple reason, i was in that cell alone, and it sucked!
My mind was racing and i was full of anxiety, for it was only a few days till Thanksgiving, and i was preoccupied with how many cracks were in the ceiling. I had never missed a Thanksgiving Day, nor Christmas(yes i say the word Christmas, if it offends you then stop reading because there will be a lot of talk about Jesus, if it doesn’t and want to know more about the perfect love of Christ, then by all means keep reading.) but from my point of view, i didn’t think i would make it home until Christmas of next year, hopefully.
“What had i gotten myself into this time” i thought to myself, and “what do i do now?” These are things that kept going through my mind, because in all reality i just wanted my mommy!! Yup, i said it, a 28 year old grown man and im calling for my mommy!! How sad was this! No man in his late twenties should ever be in this state of mind, but there i was in the fetal position on the steel bed, sobbing like a child who just got caught for steeling a cookie from the cookie jar!
The last thing i wanted to do was call my mother and tell her i was in jail again. I say again because she had bailed me out 3-4 times in the matter of a month and a half! So this was a phone call i did not want to make, at all. It would totally break this dear woman’s heart and just prove once again what a complete failure of a child i was.
I had to do it though because it was all i had. She was actually the only one, other than my sister, that i knew truly loved me. So i picked up the phone with a shake in my hand and a tear in my eye and dialed the number. My heart was racing and i started to break out into a cold sweat for fear of what she might say. I honestly thought she would write me off as a child and i was on my own and to never call again. These were that i really felt to the inner part of my soul! The phone started ringing and all i wanted to do was hang up, but i couldn’t, not this time.
Well im going to stop right there for today because as im writing this my eyes are starting to tear up, as they usually do when i think about that weekend, and what an amazing mother i have!! Please come back next time and see what she say, Thank you for reading, be blessed!
I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men. So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.–Luke 15:19-20