Now at this point i’ve all but lost all respect for my self. The emptiness that i felt that day was largely impart because i knew i couldn’t “do it ” any longer. I couldn’t go on living the way i was living anymore and something had to change. Unfortunately, that change had to happen to me, and i really wasn’t ready for it, by no means.
Now I’m going to pause for a second to explain something. When an inmate of the state, or a” number” of the county jail calls home, or anyone in this regards, it always by collect call. When the person on the other end picks up the phone, the operator instructs them and it goes something like this; “Hello, you have a collect call from such and such county jail”. “Press one to accept, or two to disconnect” are usually the words heard, and Lord knows my mom heard them allot!
Of course she knew that i was in jail again before i even talked to her! And in all honestly, i kinda figured she would hit “2” on the phone to decline. Why would she want to bail me out “one more time” when all i would do is end up there again if i didn’t get help. Who could blame her for doing that? I wouldn’t that’s for sure. Could you imagine the conversations around the Sunday dinner table. “Well Sue, what does you’re son do for a living?” “Well he’s doing a stint in the joint, but when he gets out I’ll let you know” Not something a mother could be proud of at all.
The answer my mom gave me when she got on the phone brought me to my knee’s like never before. In here all but quiet and beautiful voice:
Mom: ” Scott, its time to come home, i love you.
Me: ” (Crying uncontrollably) “You want me to come home mom?”
Mom: “yes, you’re my only son and i love you, together we can get you back on the right path, please come home.”
Me: “OK, mom, i love you”
I could hardly believe what i heard, pushing the tears back from my eyes, i sat there for a minute going over the conversation i just had with my mother. She still loved me, and wanted me to come back home, me, of all people, the failure among failures, and she wanted me to come home. I could hardly breathe, but one thing i knew i had to do. I got down on my knees and started to thank God for such a wonderful mother.
Now at this point in my life i had started to realize to very important things: That God does for us what we could never do by ourselves, and a mothers love for children goes far beyond the imagination. These are two great truths that i still carry with me today. Because if it wasn’t for God’s saving grace, and my mothers love, i wouldn’t be sharing these things with you today. So I’m truly grateful that Christ died on the cross for our sins!
As i sat there in the cell i knew this would be the last time i saw the inside of a jail, well at least as an inmates point of view. I truly realized write there and then that it was time to change. Everything i knew about living life was complete nonsense and the sad thing is, there’s so many people out there that are living a life of destruction that can only be stopped by a divine intervention from the loving and powerful, prince of piece, the King of Kings, CHRIST!!
If you’re reading my story now and are feeling the way i felt those years ago, it’s never to late. God loves you right where you’re at and theirs nothing more powerful than the love of GOD. Please ask for help, please don’t go another day living in blindness.
So, I’m coming home! Now what?? Check back next time, and be blessed, thank you for reading!
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength-Philippians 4:13
- A mother’s voice,, (hscraig.wordpress.com)
- Alcoholics anonymous takes message behind bars (thegazette.com)
- Orange County Jail Info Announce Their “Focus on First Timers” Update (prweb.com)
- The worst!, And one of the best! (hscraig.wordpress.com)