It’s time to come home,,,,

Now at this point i’ve all but lost all respect for my self. The emptiness that i felt that day was largely impart because i knew i couldn’t “do it ” any longer. I couldn’t go on living the way i was living anymore and something had to change. Unfortunately, that change had to happen to me, and i really wasn’t ready for it, by no means.

Me: “Mom

Now I’m going to pause for a second to explain something. When an inmate of the state, or a” number” of the county jail calls home, or anyone in this regards, it always by collect call. When the person on the other end picks up the phone, the operator instructs them and it goes something like this; “Hello, you have a collect call from such and such county jail”.  “Press one to accept, or two to disconnect” are usually the words heard, and Lord knows my mom heard them allot!

Of course she knew that i was in jail again before i even talked to her! And in all honestly, i kinda figured she would hit “2” on the phone to decline. Why would she want to bail me out “one more time” when all i would do is end up there again if i didn’t get help. Who could blame her for doing that? I wouldn’t that’s for sure. Could you imagine the conversations around the Sunday dinner table. “Well Sue, what does you’re son do for a living?”  “Well he’s doing a stint in the joint, but when he gets out I’ll let you know” Not something a mother could be proud of at all.

The answer my mom gave me when she got on the phone brought me to my knee’s like never before.  In here all but quiet and beautiful voice:

Mom: ” Scott, its time to come home, i love you.

Me: ” (Crying uncontrollably) “You want me to come home mom?”

Mom: “yes, you’re my only son and i love you, together we can get you back on the right path, please come home.”

Me: “OK, mom, i love you”

I could hardly believe what i heard, pushing the tears back from my eyes, i sat there for a minute going over the conversation i just had with my mother. She still loved me, and wanted me to come back home, me, of all people, the failure among failures, and she wanted me to come home. I could hardly breathe, but one thing i knew i had to do. I got down on my knees and started to thank God for such a wonderful mother.

Now at this point in my life i had started to realize to very important things: That God does for us what we could never do by ourselves, and a mothers love for children goes far beyond the imagination. These are two great truths that i still carry with me today. Because if it wasn’t for God’s saving grace, and my mothers love, i wouldn’t be sharing these things with you today. So I’m truly grateful that Christ died on the cross for our sins!

As i sat there in the cell i knew this would be the last time i saw the inside of a jail, well at least as an inmates point of view. I truly realized write there and then that it was time to change. Everything i knew about living life was complete nonsense and the sad thing is, there’s so many people out there that are living a life of destruction that can only be stopped by a divine intervention from the loving and powerful, prince of piece, the King of Kings, CHRIST!!

If you’re reading my story now and are feeling the way i felt those years ago, it’s never to late. God loves you right where you’re at and theirs nothing more powerful than the love of GOD. Please ask for help, please don’t go another day living in blindness.

So, I’m coming home! Now what?? Check back next time, and be blessed, thank you for reading!

 I can do everything through Him who gives me strength-Philippians 4:13


7 thoughts on “It’s time to come home,,,,

  1. What a beautiful post John. You have an amazing mother. I too have a wonderful family who I put through hell with my using. They had to practice tough love but they never abandoned me, even though I had pretty much abandoned them as a daughter and mother. My grandmother never turned her back on me, even when the rest of my family had enough of me. In one of my many stints in the crisis center detox center, she told me over the phone two things, “Michele, stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop blaming everybody else.” She is truly a wise woman and I will never forget her telling me that as I called her once again to tell her where I wound up——back in detox. But those days are a just a memory now, praise God. When I think back to certain events and times from my past, I can remember how I “felt inside”. It kindof gives me a sick feeling to my stomach when I remember the inner pain I felt about myself and my life. But God is good and He has forgiven me for my sins. So now I show my appreciation to Him by living right. . God bless you!

    • Thanks for reading, I checked out your blog and as i was reading i noticed you had a similar lifestyle as i did. Praise God for saving the drunkards like us. Its truly by His grace were even here today!

      In Christ, Scott.

  2. Scott,
    This story and many others sound amazingly similar to my own. I haven’t really had the courage to share my own story because I thought it was so wretched, but after reading yours I think it’s time for me to finally quit being ashamed and tell my testimony. Thanks for being so honest and sharing your testimony.

  3. Wow Scott! Love this post! It also reminds me of my own testimony and how God used Billy the same way to show me unconditional love and mercy. I was in a situation where I had run out of places to run and had used and rejected Billy so bad and when I made my phone call (from Shell gas station, 15 yrs ago) he also told me to come back home, This was after being separated for almost a year. God is so good! I’m so glad that we can share in His goodness as brother and sister in Christ! Kelli

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s