Oh it felt good to be free!! Well at least free in the since that i wasn’t in jail any longer, and didn’t have to go back. That was exciting to me because the next step after county was prison. And i really didn’t like jail, so i knew prison wasn’t going to be a holiday either. As we pulled into the drive at my mothers house i felt a since of security. Just like when i was a child, ya know that feeling of being safe when were home. And for the first time in a long time i wanted to be safe. I didn’t want to keep doing the things i was doing because i always got the same result. I was tired and on empty and i knew God had ordained for me to come home, for the fact it felt right.
Now my sister who is older and wiser than I, and my nephew also live with my mom, so it was a nice reunion. On the way home i had a certain fear about seeing my sis, i guess because i was ashamed of my actions over the years, and i always wanted her to be proud of me, but i knew i had all but lost that. For who could be proud of me after years of neglect and alcohol abuse. I always admired my sister because she was always the leader, the go getter. Very smart, kind, and loving. Totally the opposite of me. So to say the least i was scared to seeing her.
Now when we pulled into the drive i saw my sister’s car. I got out and walked slowly to the door and i saw her standing in the kitchen, and from afar, she had a radiant glow about her. Probably because other than my mom she was the first real woman i saw in years. I was nervous opening the door and when i got in she embraced me like never before. “I love you, welcome home”. Now these words mean allot because no one other than these two woman ever said anything like that to me. All the other woman in my life always told me to “Get Out!” So this was quit nice to say the least.
That night i slept better than ever before and i woke the next morning to a fresh pot of coffee and the feeling that this is were i belonged. I liked this feeling and still feel this way every time i visit my family. Now it was Thanksgiving day and the rest of the family welcomed me with open arms, which was weird. After all i put them through and they still loved me, God is so good!!
That weekend i think, or maybe it was the next, im not so sure on this, but sis and I went grocery shopping. We strolled through the isles of the store i knew oh so well growing up, and then she hit me with statement that sticks with me today. “Scott, you need a plan.” I looked at her not understanding what she said. I thought to myself,”A plan? That sounds great, can i buy it here at the store?”
Now those words ringing in my head, i was confused. Actually I knew she was right because this meant for the first time in my life i had to take responsibility for my life and that was something hard to swallow. I mean really, i had to finally grow up!?
Now alcohol abuse has an amazing effect on ones body, brain, soul, and spirit. It destroys it! At this point in my life i was mentally unfit for the human race, because my brain was fried. So trying to understand what my sis said that day was hard. For someone to come at me with a straight answer was not something i was used too.
Please, i beg you, if your reading this right now and struggling with alcohol or drug abuse, please get help. Cause it will be the end of everything you know if you continue on this path. The hardest thing for any addict is asking for help, but it so worth it!
Well, i heard it straight from my loving sister “I needed a plan” Please check back next time and see were this “plan” comes from. Thanks for reading, be blessed!!!
- My Sister Anne – In Memory – Continued (freedomborn.wordpress.com)
- How to Recognize Alcoholism (everydayhealth.com)
- Do You Have a Substance Abuse Problem? (everydayhealth.com)
- Risk Factors for Drug Addiction and Alcoholism (everydayhealth.com)
- Homeless Houston woman takes small steps toward better life (chron.com)
- FAQs on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (education.com)