When my sister told me I needed a plan I was confused. Confused for the fact that i never needed a plan before in my life. The plan i lived by worked just fine, so I thought. Work, get drunk, chase woman. A plan i had master oh so well for a while anyways. I was indestructible so i thought and the way i was doing things worked. REALLY!!? Thats why I called crying to mom. Thats why everything i had ever known, wasn’t the best way to live. Word to the wise; what you see in a movie, leave it there. Don’t take it with you!
So Thanksgiving weekend came and went, and what a wonderful time I had with the family. Probably because i was sober and could enjoy myself without trying to escape like i usually do to find my companion for the night, or a bar stool i could fall off of.( I was usually really good about that one!) By the end of the weekend i was extremely tired and it felt good for a change to just relax, this is where I started my obsession with ice cream, and it was so good!!
The following Monday my mother and i took off and went to get my cases cleared up in court. All I ended up with was court fines, probation, some court ordered rehab classes and something called A.A. (Alcoholics Anonymous). “Well, this is just great, my life had led straight to hell” so i thought. I was being ordered to go to a place were only the guy under the bridge belonged right. Ya know, the guy with the brown bag that he kept chugging from. I was being sent to the place were “Those People” go. Great.
As we met with the probation officer, the kind woman she was, really put it to me this way. “Either you sober up, straighten up, stand up, and Man Up, you’re looking at 3 years in prison.” Now, keep in mind that prison is a totally different beast compared to the county jail. I had heard stories of the “Joint” in slang terms and i really wasn’t impressed with the idea. When i was in jail i met a few guys that were headed to prison and just the emptiness about them would make a blizzard in January feel warm. They were cold and lifeless with no remorse of the crimes they committed. So i was aware of the place, yet hadn’t made it that far.
So a hard decision I had to make; Sober up, or off to prison. Seeing how i wasn’t really impressed with the “going to prison” thing i figured i would try this Sober thing. I really never gave much of a shot to anything in my life so, what the heck, Sobriety, here i come! Yes sir, that good ol town drunk, the life of the party, the king of all party’s, was Sober! Joy.
Now at this point in my life I was ready to try anything, because the way i was doing it just wasn’t working anymore, and i started to lose hope. My options were few, but wise. Sitting at the dinner table that night i realized that woman known as my probation officer just offered me the plan of a lifetime! My sister said i need a plan, and i got it! I couldn’t go another day thinking that i knew it all, because i didn’t. I knew nothing, that’s how i got myself into the situation im in, cause i knew it all! Us former drunks are known for one thing, we know it all!! What a crock!!! The next time you hear someone say,”I got this” Smack them in the head to knock some sense into them!
If you hadn’t figured it out by now, this is my blog, my story, how i realized i couldn’t do it anymore! I have a passion for Christ, but also i have a passion for helping people to sober up. This is what im called to do and i believe it to the depths of my soul. Alcoholism destroys more lives than anything. It sucks the life out of you and turns you into a coward. Please, if you come across my blog and feel the way I felt, you’re not alone, there is help. Will you join me?
So I was given a plan. An offer to actually do something with my life other than counting how many pieces of gum are under a bar stool. This plan required something that i had never experienced before, ever! Check back next time to see what is around the corner. Thanks for reading, Be Blessed!!!
“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.” John 4:34
- Here comes 2012: Staying sober through the holidays! (recoverycontent.wordpress.com)
- Alcoholics anonymous takes message behind bars (thegazette.com)
- Experience, Strength and Hope….7 Years Clean and Sober (by Tammy Bolt Werthem) (iwokeupyesterday.com)