Now at this point in my life things were kinda strange, in a good way. I didn’t understand really what was going on but i enjoyed it allot. I was sleeping well, my appetite was getting better, i was, in a sense getting healthier. I had only been sober a few months but thing were looking up! Not to mention I was making new friends along the way that actually cared about my well-being. Emotionally I was getting better but it was pretty painstaking for I had never came alive in that way before. For years I had buried any sense of feelings or emotions I may have had, and for the beast to waken, was hurtful. I actually started to develop some sort of self-esteem, self-worth, and respect for myself. This didn’t come easy because I had never had any of these before.
My idea of respect for one’s self was not falling off the bar stool or not waking up in strange places with strange woman. That was respect that I knew. But in reality that was just a cop-out for the very thing I kept buried all those years. I didn’t want the real Scott to come back because he was the “ugly fat kid” that wasn’t very high on the social poll. But that’s the person I knew had to come back because he was real. He had a purpose and values, all the things i had drowned in Tequila and other things. Deep down, I wanted him back!
I kept going to meetings and at one particular meeting I would meet the man who eventually led me to Christ. He was my first sponsor and he was a no non-sense kinda guy. Definitely not someone, who if we were still drinking probably wouldn’t associate very well. But he was a kind man as well that took me under his wing and gave me a confidence that I had never had before. He told me if I wanted to stay sober that i had to develop a relationship with God. Now at this point i had prayed and God was answering so i didn’t understand the full concept of “relationship with God” But I would soon learn. My sponsor had something I wanted, but wasn’t really sure what it was.
He invited me to church which was really cool because i had been to my sisters church and I had been “touched” by Him. I was excited because I wanted to be “touched” again. We pulled into the parking lot and I could see there was a lot of people getting “touched” there for the parking lot was full. “WOW! There’s a lot of people here!” I yelled excitedly. As we approached the door their were people greeting us when we came in which i thought was weird because no one had ever greeted me going into a public place before! Usually, i was being escorted out so this was unusual, but I liked it.
When we made our way in, my heart almost skipped a beat. There were people singing and laughing and they all had a glow about them that would light up a dark sky. I was a little scared honestly because these people seemed crazier than me! I liked it! I wanted what these people had and i was bound and determined to find out what kinda drugs they were on. Because from my life, no one was ever this happy unless they were bellied up to the bar or passing a joint. So we head up to our seats and i was still a bit overwhelmed with all the excitement and energy that was in the air. I don’t really recall the message that morning or the ride home but I knew right then and their, i wanted what those people had.
We went to church a couple more time then my sponsor asked me the most important question anyone had ever asked; “Do you want to meet Jesus?” My jaw hit the floor and the sensation by this one simple question was like none other. “Yes!” I replied, “but does he want to meet me?” I responded. My sponsor kinda chuckled and hugged me and away we went. I was going to meet Jesus! We walk into the church on February 27th 2005 and that was the day i finally met the one I was looking for my whole life.
After the sermon the pastor gave an altar call. My sponsor looked at me and said ” Are you ready?’ I nodded and headed to the altar. This is something I had wanted all my life. I just wanted someone beautiful to touch me and it was going to finally happen. We knelt at the altar and the pastor started to pray like i had never heard before. He had a powerful but loving voice that still to this day shakes my inner being. “Say it Scott, say it”. my sponsor whispered in my ear.
What a thrill it is to serve our Lord Jesus Christ!! All i want to do is tell my story with one purpose: that you dear friend may come to find that “Someone Beautiful” known as Jesus Christ. He’s the reason I’m breathing today and all praise goes to Him.
So will you join me? Find Him, He is not lost, we are the ones that are lost. He held out His hand and said “Scott, let me love you”. Will you let Him love you too?
That was an amazing day for me, one that changed my life will you check back next time to hear my answer at the altar? Thanks for reading!! Be Blessed!!
That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.-Romans 10:9
- Jesus Christ, And Him Crucified (the1stfollower.com)
- Things that make me feel like a warrior for Christ (kaylenwilson.wordpress.com)
- What are you giving Jesus for Christmas? (lmurray68.wordpress.com)