The feeling that I had that night was of something out of this world. I was a few steps from ending a decades struggle with alcoholism and life as I knew it was about to change for the rest of my life. As I stepped closer to the cross, the guys before me were heading back to their seats and they all were weeping and had a sense of relief like they had been set free. All the years of doing my thing and floundering around without purpose was about to come to an end. That night God had accomplished in my life the very thing I had looked for, basically since birth: Love and healing.
It was finally my turn and as I took the hammer from the guy in front of me, the pastor(or spiritual adviser) looked at me and with three little words almost brought me to my knees: “Are you ready?” He asked, with a loving smile on his face. I barely could get the words out for I was fearful of messing the thing up. My whole life had been nothing but a complete and utter failure and failing Jesus wasn’t something I wanted to do. But if I didn’t nail my sins to that cross, that would have been the biggest failure. “Yes”, I said with a tear welling up in my eye.Their in my hand I had the invitation of a life time: My sins laid out before me, A nail, And a hammer.
I placed the paper on the cross and poked the nail in holding it with shaky hands. Up went the other arm with the hammer and as hard as I could with a loud pound my sins were upon that cross. And with delight in my eyes and sweat rolling from my brow I knew right then and there that the journey I was on was going to be something special. The pastor looked at me with approval on his face and i returned to my seat and out of emotional exhaustion I collapsed. This was by far the realist I had ever been in my life. The first time I had been honest about anything and the first time I knew my life had purpose. But the night wasn’t over yet.
When the last guy had nailed his sins to the cross, the pastor lead us in a prayer and for a moment, and for the first time in my life I was walking hand in hand with my Creator. We sat their for a moment as one of the workers pulled all the pieces of paper off the cross and into a coffee can they went with the nails in another. We made a line and quickly went outside. I remember that weekend being rather cold out but that night I was on fire! Out in the parking lot we formed a circle around that coffee can filled with every-mans worst deeds. The pastor said another prayer, lit a match and into the can it went.
This was the day I had waited for my whole life. To personally see my sins on fire brought me to my knees out of utter excitement and I felt the bondage of alcohol leaving my body. I look up and the flame was getting higher and every man there was in tears, for we had all had a personal experience with Jesus. We held hands in that circle and started to sing “Amazing Grace” for how sweet it is that He saved a wretch like me. I was filled with awe and barely could get the words out and I heard a whisper in my ear, ” I Love You Scott” the voice said calmly. Looking around I saw no one except for the guy I was next to holding hands with. “Jesus?” I mumbled quietly.
That night the Lord grabbed me and touched me in ways like never before. His love for me as I learned reaches to the ends of the earth. Nothing, and I mean nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. He filled me with passion and purpose that night and told me of all people, that I wasn’t useless and that I did matter. That trusting in Him was far better than trusting in the bottle that was a staple in my life for so many years. I could hold my head and not be ashamed and most importantly he has forgotten my sins as far as the east is to the west.
So let me ask you my friend, will you let Him forgive and forget your sins?
I remember that night like it was only yesterday and it wasn’t over yet, check back next time to hear about the walk on the river I had.
Thanks for reading!! Be Blessed!!
Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry for help come to you.- Psalm 102:1
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- Be Jesus-Full (pjcockrell.wordpress.com)
- 10 Truths for Gospel-Centered Living | Pastor Mark (craigsturm.wordpress.com)
- By His Wounds :: Isaiah 53 (sermonsbymatt.wordpress.com)