Under the Mask.

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When I was young, someone told me to be myself. Easier said than done but the only problem I had was I didn’t know who I was. It started at an early age, insecurity, doubt, dishonesty, low self-esteem. Self-worth wasn’t even in my vocabulary. I didn’t like looking in the mirror because I didn’t like the person staring back at me, and didn’t even know why. That was the bad thing was I didn’t even know why I felt this way. I tried to be like everyone else and in the end, it made me feel empty inside.

The good news is I don’t feel or think this way about myself anymore. I have learned that I was created in the image of my heavenly father and Christ died for my sins, so that in itself was enough, but also I have learned how much he loves me and wants a relationship with me. I still think sometimes how a righteous, perfect, loving God could want a relationship with this pathetic human that I am. i don’t ask any questions, I try to love Him to the best of my abilities, but I fail, that’s the beauty of His Grace.

Sadly, many people in the world today do the same thing I used to do. The put their masks on and pretend to be someone their really not. They spend lots of money to buy plastic parts for their body’s just to keep up with the neighbors. They buy expensive cars and big houses for no clear reason but to have them. Sorry, just because your married and have ten kids by nine different woman doesn’t constitute a house with 20 bedrooms and 15 bathrooms. But this is what society is made up of today, a bunch of Barbie’s and Kens running around aimlessly.

Just the other day someone was poking fun of me because of the car I drive. They said “your better than that piece of junk.” My response, “Oh so I am better than a car that’s paid for, my bad, excuse me a minute so I can go get in more debt with a car i cannot afford like you,” needless to say that was the end of the conversation and she went on about her business. Sad isn’t it? but it happens all the time. Plastic people trying to make the world a better place by making everyone else plastic, makes perfect sense.

Big cars, big houses, big hair, and lots of make up is what the world is about today to try and cover up the wonderful people God made. Ya see, if were made in His image, than whats the reason for make up? True story though if you think about it, look at that pathetic place called Hollywood. Theirs more plastic there than the majority of plastic company’s. The only thing those people have on us little people is a lot of expensive, worthless stuff that they have no idea what its all for.

Even Christians hide behind masks. Ohhhhh what you didn’t think I was going to leave us out did you? Christians are notorious for being the fakest people around. Not all but a lot. Look around the ones that put on their Sunday best, their pretty smile and say amen at everything the pastor says. Then once their out the doors their worldly face comes back and all is lost. trust me I was this way for a while until God opened my eyes about it. I was running around doing everything I could get my hands on that was Christian. I read books, indulged in windy arguments and proclaimed the Good News without a spirit. Then the Lord got a hold of me and said “Be still, and know that I am God.”

When your stopped in your tracks by the Man himself, you have a tendency to listen.   I started to love Him as He loved me, being obedient, and walking closer to Him, and what do you know, I started to feel comfortable in my own skin. This is what people are missing, being comfortable in their own skin, and how awesome it is. This tells me that God loves me for who I am and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do about it. This was the point in my life when my self-esteem started to develop and my self-worth was growing, because I realized one valuable thing, Without Jesus Christ, i am nothing, period.

Thanks for reading!!! Be Blessed!



If you take 365 days of the year, plus 24 hours in a day, and there is 7 days in a week, this is how often we are supposed to be Christians. Which, in laymen’s terms, means every second of our lives. Bet you never thought of it this way have you? Were not called to be Christians when we feel like it, or when its convenient,  or just on Easter and Christmas, no, we are called to live the Christian life every second of our lives, no exceptions. In the world we live in and the life’s that we live sometimes, we forget we are Christians and start adapting to the world and the worlds silly, pathetic, disgusting way they want people to live.

I started thinking about this not long ago when our pastor delivered a sermon about being a Christian means full-time, and not part  time. I started doing a little research with numbers and finally came up with 396. It really hit home because this is full-time, our lives devoted to Christ full-time while were on this earth and after. Which in my opinion is great news because let me tell you, the world with all of its idiotic views that everyone  can do what ever they want, just don’t get caught, is sad. Trust me I know to well what the world is like because I was a part of it for  a long time. Trying to be someone I’m not and taking advantage of others to glorify my self, that was the sad way to live.

Today’s society is the most selfish I have ever seen it. Baby’s having baby’s just to collect money from the state, sari law being implemented into the United States because we don’t want to offend the Muslims, which by the way, Muhammad is dead, Jesus is still alive so deal with it, opening doors for strangers have become a thing of the past and slamming doors in people’s face is the way to go.

With Christianity getting banned practically from all public places and God getting kicked out of schools and government, one can see why its hard be a Christian full-time. I mean Peter even denied Christ 3 times before he realized what he did, so it’s no different for us. We go on about our business forgetting why were here and doing things were not supposed to be doing and wondering why the Church of God is dwindling and not growing.  Because Christians are not standing up for Christ anymore that’s why. It’s all fine and dandy on Sunday mornings, with our Christian face on, you know, the fake one we tend to put on when were around other Christians, then come Monday morning were back to our self indulged life of pathetic behavior and self-destructive life style.

My hope through this blog Is God uses it to prick the hearts and minds of his people to stand up for Him. I’m doing a little refurbishing of my blog and writing about more important things, I hope you don’t mind. The first half of my blog was about my life, every dark cranny of my life before Christ is in here so that way there’s no chance of fraud or gossip.   When people ask me if these things really happened to me, I smile and sometimes laugh, because it’s all true and I laugh about them because I can today. There was a time that every thing I did I was ashamed of and felt guilty about, not today, for I don’t fear what has happened because the past is the past and I try to learn from the past.

Today, I want to know Christ, I want to learn from Christ and walk with Christ. To know Christ is to live extravagantly in His love and

Christian symbol: This symbol was used primari...

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breathe the air He gave us. To know Christ is to shoot for the stars and not settle for ordinary. To know Christ means there is no such thing as impossible, but everything is possible in Him who give me strength. To know Christ is to know Him every second of our lives because we want to, because He first loved us. To know Christ is, 396.

Lord I pray to glorify you in all things, every day, every second of my life. Fill me full of your spirit Oh Lord because I need you Lord. Turn this pathetic existence into a glorifying plan of God. Lord teach me your ways because their better than anything the world has to offer. Thank you Jesus for believing in me, Amen.

Thanks for reading!!! Be Blessed!!!!!



"This van was parked outside of the Women...

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The world we live in today is faker than a three dollar bill. Everyone is offended by something, whether its Pro-Abortion, Anti-Abortion, Homosexuality and same-sex marriage, oh, and did I mention the Cross is the biggest offender? Yup, out of everything that can be offensive and controversial, the Cross is the biggest offender, but why? The Cross represents what Christ did for us, the shedding of blood, the forgiveness of sins, and a one way ticket to our heavenly father. I could understand why these would be offensive, because they don’t lead to hell like everything else does.

The Cross brings so much heat these days everyone’s afraid of it because that would mean they would have to change, and no one wants to do that. You cannot keep having affairs, and getting drunk every night, no more porn or other perverted acts, no more selfishness and no more greed. Truly I can understand why one would not want to give these things up to come to Christ and receive eternal salvation and life abundant. I mean who would want to give up cheating on their wife or husband to come to know the forgiveness that Christ brings. Who would want to quit chasing after riches and material possessions to  worship a loving and righteous God?

Yes, all these things can be considered controversial, but when you mention The Good News of Jesus Christ, look out, your either getting banned or arrested. But abortion is O.K.? Me personally, I like to be the outcast that proclaims the Gospel, because in the end, I know where I’m going. I used to be the one cheating and scamming to get what I wanted and it only lead to hopelessness and emptiness, period. Think about it, if prayer and bible studies were allowed back in schools, would the world be a better place? Yes I believe so because these things that got kicked out of school and replaced with drag shows and fashion shows, are the ones that save your soul.

Prayer has been kicked out of just about every public place and we wonder why people’s hearts are turned from God. Yet, lets marry same-sex couples because it’s based on equality and everyone should have the right to marry. Well if that were the case God would have created Adam and Steve instead of Adam and Eve. Are these harsh words? Absolutely. God don’t play around when His commandments are broke, as you can see His favor isn’t seen that much anymore.

I’m not a hater by any means, please don’t think I am, I have a few homosexual friends, but I don’t believe in their lifestyle. I believe in them as human beings and I believe in the person they could become if they knew Christ. But to know Christ would mean giving up the pleasures of the flesh, and we couldn’t have that now could we. Nope, we want to sin and sin and say everything will be O.K. when it’s not. Times are changing, are you?

Oh and feelings, I can’t forget about those now can I. Everything hurts everyone’s feelings and its no different for the Cross. The Cross has been accused of hurt feelings and pain. I heard an atheist say one time “Just looking at the Cross makes me vomit.” Really? Let me fill you in on a little secret that I found out years ago. ABSOLUTELY nothing that comes out of ones mouth can hurt your feelings. If you little feelings get hurt, good! That just means God is pricking you heart and your out of line with what He want’s you to do. I worked with a woman years ago that was so sensitive, you couldn’t look at her wrong or she would start crying.

O.K. I know I have probably made some people mad or upset and honestly I don’t care. This world needs a Savior that’s why Christ died for us, bottom line. This is the reason I write this blog is to be honest. If I wasn’t being honest, then I have gone against everything I believe and have learned. My hope the message of Christ is received and what better way than a blog.

He brought me out of the pits of hell and put me on solid ground, that why I do this.

Thanks for reading!!!! Be Blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So, You Think Your a Man, Huh?

Courageous (film)

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I’ve heard it said before by kids, “Well I’m a grown man and I can do what I want.” Really? Nothing gets me more irritated than hearing this. Kids these days think because they reach that great age of 18, the full-grown adults. Well, let me be the bearer of bad news, you’re not, so get over it. A kid i worked with a few years ago kept on saying this, that he had a kid, but didn’t have custody, smoked weed all the time and got drunk every night, that he was a grown man.

Out of irritation I laid into him one night, I said, “Bro, what makes you think your grown? Just because you are 22 does not make you a man.” I continued by telling him, “If you were a man like you claim to be, you wouldn’t be out getting high and drunk every night, working part-time so you can live off of the state.” This didn’t set to well with him but I really wasn’t concerned because he needed to hear it.

I think more and more “men” need to hear this as well because there’s a lot of so-called “men” out there, that have no clue how to be one. We just finished up a 4 week bible study at church, it was the Courageous bible study based off of the movie. (Must see movie by the way!) This bible study is a call to all men to stand up, shut up, pull your pants up, and man up. I can’t go into too much detail because I don’t want to ruin it for others, but here’s a hint, You don’t become a man until you let Christ into your heart, and let Him show you how to be a man.

If there’s one thing I have learned is Christ makes us men, period. I no, I no, its strong language and that s fine, because I’m not here to be popular, I’m here to be honest and speak the truth. When i was on the streets, living the way I wanted to, do things no man in there right mind should have done, I thought I was being a man. Ha! the joke was on me, because bar hoping and chasing woman is not being a man, far from it, its being a coward.

I know to many  so-called “men” out there that keep doing the same thing I was doing and all their doing is digging a pit they cannot get out of alone. They can try, but will fail. Believe me when I tell you I tried every trick in the book and failed. It was only when I came to understand Jesus, opened my heart to Him, and let Him show me how to be a man, when I finally started to act like a man. I’m a fairly responsible adult now and I love it! It’s only because of Christ that I am able too.

So, where are all the real “men” out there? Oh yea, your watching porn in the other room while your wife cooks your sorry but dinner. Oh, almost forgot, your out hanging with the “boys” when you should be taking care of your kids. Sorry missed another one, your having an affair with the “girl who understands.” These are the real men out there, yes sir, every woman’s prince charming; slaps in the face, adultery, jobless and living off of the state. This is what America is made of today. Sad.

MEN, WAKE UP!!!!!!!! We are called by God to lead our families, not the follower. We are called to be courageous, not wimps without a back bone. Men of God were are you?????

Thanks for reading!!!!

Be Blessed!!!!

If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes.

English: A brick wall in Giza, Egypt.

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I was hit between the eyes when I first heard this one. There was an older gentleman that used to come to meetings with 20+ years of sobriety and this was one of his big sayings. I heard it many times before, but never knew the exact meaning of it. One night after a meeting I pulled him aside and asked him what it meant, his definition still holds true to this day, “Insanity, repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

My jaw dropped when he told me this because for years I had always tried the same old thing, but in the end, got the same result. Talk about an “ah ha” moment. This was the very thing I was doing my whole life and never understood why I wasn’t making any progress. I wasn’t changing. I stayed the same cruel, womanizing, drunk and I expected everyone else to change to suit my needs. As I have found out it doesn’t work that way. I cannot stay the same person and expect things to be different. Nope, I have to let God change my heart, and give me fresh insight, before I can make any change.

When i sobered up I didn’t know how to change. I didn’t know the first thing about it, but I knew I had to, or else I was headed back to the bottle. So I started asking questions, lots of questions and of course, I got a lot of answers, but none seemed right. So I went to the one who know’s all about change, and that’s the unchanging Gog. Kinda of a paradox isn’t it? The unchanging God know’s about change? Yep.

He is the unchanging, He is, and always will be God, deal with it. We, on the other hand are detestable humans far short of the glory of God. We need Him, to change us, by faith in His Son Jesus Christ, period. Humans are incapable of change without Him, it doesn’t work, I’ve tried. I hit my head against the brick wall many times and one thing I learned, that brick wall hurt! When Christ came into my heart, that was the first step to change. He does things in us that we could have only dreamed of. He changed this drunken, pathetic, lifeless, dead man walking  into  God-fearing man, so I know it’s possible, just with Him giving me strength.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still bump my head against the brick wall a time or two,(everyday) but it’s not as bad as it used to be. I try to learn from my mistakes, though i fail, Christ is there to pick me up and set me straight. Today I embrace change because I know it has to happen. Human beings have to continue to change, daily, if not, were nothing more than we used to be.

Thanks for reading!!! Be Blessed!!!!!!!

Romancing under the Stars.

Author: Bagande

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I ponder the future, thinking about what it would be like to finally find my one true love. Whispering in her ear, candle light dinners, late night conversations and romancing under the stars. Wake up to a priceless gem that God blessed me with to care for and nurture her with love and affection. Praying together and long drives and walks on the beach on a warm summers day are things I think about often. Unfortunately, these things don’t happen enough in today’s society with woman getting involved with “wanna be men.”

Too many times I see wonderful woman with men that don’t respect them for the beauty they truly are. Woman are a gift to men, in their natural beauty and sparkles in their eyes, they long to be loved, but the men don’t know how. Woman long to love like crazy only to be subject to violence, rape, and treated like an object. We live in a culture today that says woman are the leaders and the men just sit back and play video games. Though there is nothing wrong with a woman working or even making more money than the man, but the man still needs to step up and lead their family.

I used to be this way myself, chasing woman and committing adultery like it was a sport, only to be left alone wondering why? My perception back then was the more the merrier. We had drunken orgy’s and affairs till the sun came up trying to prove we were men, only to find out we were just boys.  I dated a lot of wonderful, beautiful woman in my days, and in the end, it was my own selfishness that brought my demise. To often I wonder what it would be like if I had committed to one of these woman and been the man they longed for instead of just a one night stand. But I couldn’t love because I didn’t know how to love. I didn’t know how to love myself let alone a woman.

When I came to Christ on bended knee and confessed my failures and sins, he said “Scott, will you let me romance you under the stars?” This was the begging of a life changing process that only Jesus Christ could carry out. I needed Him and still need Him to teach me every day how to love and how to love woman like the priceless diamond they truly are and not an object to be tossed around and seduced. All men, I believe, need to be taught this lesson every single day; We need Christ to teach us to love, so we can love our beauty’s that stand by our side through thick and thin.

Today, my heart’s desire is to love to the sky and romance under the stars with one that will let me. This is all possible because Christ loved me and has taught me and continues to teach me.

Thanks for reading!!! Be Blessed!!!!


Professionals built the Titanic, Amateurs built the Ark…

RMS Titanic departing Southampton on April 10,...

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Can you guess which one sunk? Yup, you guessed right, the mighty unsinkable ship built by thousands of men and a lot of money, hit the ice burg and split in half like a walnut. The Arc, built by Noah, with blueprints from God, loaded with every animal and all of Noah’s family, sailed the flood and made it safe. Noah restarted civilization as we know it guided by God; The Titanic, well it still lays at rest at the bottom of the sea with movies and songs being made about it.

This world we live in today is as fake as a three dollar bill. Everyone rushes around for no clear reason  trying to be something there not. I once applied to be a Kitchen Manager of a restaurant a few years back and they told me because I don’t have a degree, they couldn’t hire me. Even though my credentials speak for themselves and I know the restaurant business like the back of my hand, I didn’t have a piece of paper to prove I was smart, so I was denied. I’m not worried though because the college I work for now is such a great place, they seen my credentials and hired me. Not because of anything I did, but by the grace of God.

I’m going to college now, but not for the reasons a lot of people do. I have a great job, and when I do graduate, it’s not saying that I’m getting another job, its been a personal goal of mine since I was a child to get my bachelors degree. Plus it does look good on a résumé if I ever decide to look elsewhere for a career. God uses everyday, broke down, self-destructive, and on occasion temperamental people like me, to carry out His plan. I don’t argue, I just do it because in the end, I no it will be a success because it was ordained by God.

To many people in this world, even Christians get big-headed about life in general and they sink like the Titanic. People try to push Christianity down people’s throat claiming one thing and doing another. This is the world today and sad to say that theirs more hypocrisy in the church, than any other place on the planet. If you’re not part of the “it crowd” even in church, you get overlooked. Sometimes its like an adult high school.

      I try to live the best way I know how for Christ, and quite frankly, it has worked, because I have to do the foot work. I sank like the Titanic before, and I don’t want to do it again. I have to stay humble about every situation that is put before me and realize its a gift from God. I don’t prance around waiving the Jesus card in people faces only to do the exact opposite that some people do. Christ called us to love one another as He loved us, and if He called us to do this, why are their Christians that are cold and   without love? Probably because they really don’t have a relationship with Jesus would be my first guess.

    You can know Jesus, but not have a relationship with Him and this is the first of the Commandments. I used to be the one that new Jesus, but didn’t have a relationship with Him. Today, I can honestly say I have a relationship with Christ. Its deep, true, and pure and I absolutely love it. It’s  better than any relationship I have ever had, and that’s why its important to me to write this blog. Jesus loves us right were we are. I’m not going to find Him in the “it crowd” at church or the rituals a lot of people believe in today. I find Him in my heart and in the very book that was wrote about Him, the Bible. I go to church to hear God and listen to Him  and the fellowship with other believers is a blessing.

Today, I don’t want to sink like the Titanic, I want to be strong like the Ark. How about you my friend? Has life and the people in life beat you down with all the hypocrisy? Cast your care on Jesus and let Him give you strength.

Thanks for reading!! Be Blessed!!!!!

“There is no fear of God before their eyes”– Romans 3:18