The first time I heard this quote I was about 6 months sober at a meeting across town and everyone there busted out laughing except for me. I had no idea what they were talking about till after the meeting when my sponsor broke it down for me. He said in effect, “If you go to a bar enough times, you’ll eventually get drunk.” Now this was wisdom that I had never heard before and it made so much sense. If I wanted to stay sober, I couldn’t do it in a bar. That was great news for me because the only thing I ever did in a bar was get drunk and chase women, who the heck would want to go to a bar to stay sober anyways?
To answer that question, many people do. Over the past 7 years I have been witness to many people try to get sober, all the while, going to play pool in a bar with “their friends.” Now let me tell you this is insanity but it happens all the time. Then, the same people who wouldn’t stay out of the bar, or give up the friendships that cause a down slide, come back to a meeting wondering why they got drunk. Sometimes I really wish I could smack some sense into them, because it’s the same old story every other week.
Let me say something that’s of utter importance to anyone that’s trying to get sober and stay sober, “Those people in the bar, are not your friends, and could careless if you got drunk or stay sober.” Strong words I know, and in the politically correct, sad existence the world has become, were everyone thinks everyone is there friend, I would be booted right out of anyplace for just thinking it but its true. Your true friends, the one’s that are by your side through thick and thin, who don’t gossip about you and who don’t hit you up for money at every turn, those are the ones I want in my life today. Not the guy under the bar stool or trying to steal your girlfriend, those people are gone from my life for good.
I’ve seen some amazing things since I have been sober, but nothing compares to the friendships I have made. Nothing compares to the bonds I have made and nothing compares to the sweet love of God. These things I never found in a bar, drug house or a sex shop. But why do so many people think that “if I go to a bar and hang out with my friends, I can have a coke or a water.” Not to sure, but my guess is their not ready to give up the lifestyle of long nights and empty bottles, let alone the misery that follows.
I was ready that’s not a question. I was ready to end the starving of my soul and endless chatter with meaningless people. I was ready for the pain to go away and the hangovers to end. I was ready for a change and a change had to be made, for I lost my all in the battle, and I was ready to dabble in something better. With my I’s dotted and T’s crossed I set out on this ship of sobriety setting sail for new land. And in the end I have found “If I keep doing the same thing, I’m going to get the same thing.”
My friends, I’m glad to say that I don’t hang out in barber shop any longer, because I don’t need a hair cut. How about you? Do you still head to the club to hang with “friends”, are you still “hanging out in a barber shop?” Their is hope, and lots of it, and it’s not found in any of those places. It’s found in the loving arms of Christ, were he cares for our every need.
Thanks for reading!!! Be Blessed!!!!!
- What Is Friendship? (pjh95811.wordpress.com)
- Drunk Words are Sober Thoughts… (sharedmadness.wordpress.com)
- The drunk monkey sobered up (jadedheartdiary.wordpress.com)