Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God. —-John 1:12
Before I came to the Lord, before Christ took me by the hand and said “Follow me,” my life was that of a dead man walking. Skin and bones, nothing more and nothing less, soulless, heartless, and scared. I drank to get drunk and had sex with as many woman as I could because I couldn’t bear to be alone. This was my life daily, and the weekends just got worse for that meant more drinking and more woman. I was my own worst enemy and in a sense, created my own prison.
With no hope, no love, and no faith, suicide sounded better everyday. Everyday i wanted to stop, but couldn’t, I was out of control and really didn’t care because my thoughts were just this, “I’m hurting no one but myself.” Lonely, depressed, and borderline suicidal made for a great time when you added booze. I was an emotional cocktail just waiting and wanting to be tipped over. The night when I fell in the middle of the street (this is where you go back to my very fist post I wrote) I could really careless if I lived or died, actually I was hoping for a car to come along and end it all, but God had other plans.
I drew close to anyone or anything that would make me feel better because deep down, I hated everything about myself. I was detestable to the man in the mirror and new if something didn’t change, all would be lost. I had a great knack for getting drunk and messing things up, so I figured this was a talent that was useful, so I continued in a life of self-absorbed destruction. Every thing was about me and only me and that’s just the way it was.
7 1/2 years later, I’m still here, and thank God! One thing I have learned is living this life for self is way to hard, It takes so much energy to be selfish and destructive. Living for Christ is a heck of a lot easier, just for the fact he takes care of all my needs. He know’s every hair on my head, all my thoughts and all my ways. He pulled me out of the garden of Satan, and put me at the Kings table. Today, I am a child of the most High, and I have resolved to give the King of all Kings, everything I have. I want to be closer to Him every second I breathe, only to fall to the wayside by the world and every thing evil in it.
All I want to do is draw closer to Christ, walk with Christ, and to talk with Christ, hold His hand in the cool of the day and hold Him and never let go. Today, because Christ died for us, I’m still alive, and how sweet it is!
- God’s Answer to Prayer (lifeblossomsbungalow.wordpress.com)
- Virgin Expectations (reneamac.com)
- Why Can Followers of Jesus Rejoice in Suffering? (craigsturm.wordpress.com)
- God’s Grace is Sufficient (goldenbible.wordpress.com)