I’ve been asked to share how I am no longer the “Old man” and how Christ has changed me into a new man, and with no hesitation I agreed. I thought that my blogs were really self-explanatory and have told much of my life, but I’m glad to write some more on this. When we go through the life transformation of salvation and becoming a Christian, at first it’s really overwhelming for the fact I had no idea what was going on. All I knew is that it was going to be one heck of a journey.
Growing up I was rebellious, hot headed, arrogant, and conceded and life didn’t mean much after my father passed. When he passed, it shook my world to the core and with no regards to anything or anyone, I embarked on a 15 year living hell of drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, masturbation, and pretty much anything that was self-destructive I did, because I had lost all hope. I had seen the dark and I liked it because I felt safe and no one could see what I was doing. My existence was hopeless and meaningless, and when I passed out on main street I was ready for it to be over.
I had to go to that place to get here. I had to go to the point of no return and emptiness to understand that life is about choices, good and bad, and I had made some bad choices. My whole life I was looking for that one thing that left when my father passed; love. Wondering every bar and brothel, drug houses and alleys, looking for that one thing I had longed for my whole life; a fathers love. I would sit a wonder sometimes what life would be like if he had not passed, would I have been the same drunk and womanizer? Probably.
If there’s one thing I have learned is that God gives us free will. My will was free that’s for sure because I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and no one was going to tell me any different. I was the” essential loser”, and in all honestly, thought that the way I was living was normal. I was weak, and being a man was not apart of my life. I was a boy caught in a life of staggering events and perplexing things.
When I cried, and when I say cried, it was a river flowing from my face in the middle of main street and God met me were I was. He whispered to my heart “I am what you have looked for,” and I felt a flood of emotions rush through my veins like the alcohol rushing to my head. Christ picked me up, set me on new ground, and breathed the true breath of life into me.
Now, how am I the new man? Well I’m glad you asked. I no longer search high and low in places of exotic woman and drug dealers for love. I no longer have a temper to destroy, nor an attitude like Billy the Kid. Having sex every night with a different woman and watching porn are a thing of the past, for these things have no place in my life. Yes I’ve dated a few woman over the past 8 years, but haven’t had sex with any of them. That right there is how I know Christ has changed me.
Eternal Hope is what I have today, not because of anything I did, but because of what He did. He paid the price, by death on a cross, so I can tell my testimony and share the gift of eternal hope with others. My life today is simple, well in the eyes of the world its simple, but in all honesty, its a lot more crazy now than it ever was, just for the fact I’m doing something to make an impact. I’m doing something to touch, hopefully, at least on of the lost, and share eternal hope who is in Christ.
I had to go there to get here, take my hand and we will walk this road together, because I’m not afraid anymore.
Thanks for reading!!! Be Blessed!!!!!!
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