Don’t touch me!


Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment

Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 Mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea—- the Lord on high is mighty.–Psalm 93:4

This is a deep post. This post is from my heart, not that all of them aren’t but this one especially because child molestation is something that is pushed under the rug and never spoke of again. It’s an unheard of act committed by soulless people with no respect of the harm they do. I was touched when I was younger, and I’m not going into detail, but just no that it was one of the worst moments of my life. Not once, but twice and this cruel and unusual punishment is embedded in my soul forever. Though I have forgiven the offenders, I understand today that scars remain.

I’ve told of my father passing when I was young, and the wild life that I lived. Since I’ve been a Christian I have gone through the proper treatment for abuse, especially sexual abuse, but this is the first for a blog post. After my father passed I didn’t really have much left to live for and friends I was making were the unruly type. We drank and partied until the sun came up only to wonder what happened the night before. The first time it happened was a childhood friend and the second time was an older cousin, and in both case, I couldn’t feel any lower than dirt, because dirt was clean compared to me.

Imagine if you will, a young man with no feelings, empty, and unsure if life even meant anything. After those things happened to me, that’s exactly how I felt, wanting to cry out, but nothing would come out. Dreams dashed and hopes crushed because of “hands in the wrong places” and all I wanted to do was run into a fire and burn with the leaves from the tree’s. Life is a beautiful gift from God, but when you have been violated in a way unimaginable, that life ceases for the soul reason of shame and regret.

Those days are gone, I have forgiven and moved on because greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world, but the scar remains and the story needs to be told. No one has the right to touch another human that way, and know one has the right to hold these things back for so long like I did. I kept those things quiet for years and when it all came to a head, the scene wasn’t pretty, and family was split because I finally came forth and told someone. I wasn’t aware that my pain and hurt would split the family like it did only to be told never to speak of such things again.

I’m grown now with a heart for the lord and I will no longer be SILENT! Sexual abuse isn’t something to be pushed under the rug and hope that it goes away. It’s not a speck in the skin,  it’s a hot knife cutting through butter over and over till you can’t speak or sleep at night. These things happen because we live in a soulless generation with no heart for humanity. I’m not afraid to take a stand anymore and reach out to those who have been assaulted in ways unthinkable to the human mind; ways that can empty your soul and tear your heart and trample your spirit to the ground.

My God is a big God, He saved me from the hell I created to say this; there is HOPE. Please if your reading this now, and are in THAT place, please don’t hold it in. Tell someone, cry out to God for guidance and embrace your testimony, because you never know when you will impact someones life.

Thanks for reading!!!!!

Be Blessed!!!!!!

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4 thoughts on “Don’t touch me!

  1. Child abuse is a terrible thing that is very rampant in our society right now. It seems children aren’t seen as valuable as they once were. God is the only one who can fix this and heal those involved.

  2. Hi Scott thanks for sharing I understand that pain, you have already read my story but I also wrote a poem lead by The Holy Spirit and yes it is not to be excused I once heard of a Pedifile who said in court, I was just trying to give the little girls some pleasure, even when caught he could see no wrong in what he did.

    http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2011/09/29/in-my-arms/

    So what does God say about Child abuse, does He care for the sufferings of His little ones who’s innocence has been stolen from them, whose souls and minds are polluted by the promptings of the perverted and carnal nature of man ( women ) who are being controlled by their sexual lust motivating them to inflict harm and degradation on a child that often stays and haunts them throughout their lives causing them to suffer emotional pain, deep anger and feelings of humiliation.

    God hates what Paedophiles do to children with a passion it breaks His heart and grieves Him greatly and to those who commit these horrendous acts against Children, He solemnly warns them….

    Luke 17:1 – 2 Then said He unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto Him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.

    God tells us in the Scriptures how He feels not just about Paedophilia but all Sin and how we are to deal with it, do not doubt for a minute that He hates sin passionately, He does and always will but because of His great Love and Compassion, He understands that without His empowering we all sin and hurt Him and others as well as ourselves. He also knows what motivates us to sin, this is why He offers us forgiveness and restoration and freedom in Christ Jesus, it is not His will that anyone perishes He Loves all Mankind but hates their sin.

    For those who have committed Paedophilia and I have been one of their victims, God will forgive them if they come to heart repentance which means to have great sorrow for the sin they have committed and no longer do it and when anyone does this the burden of guilt and fear is removed regardless of the sin that has made them a slave to depravity and the evil of their evil fallen flesh nature when they put the flesh to death by The Spirit they are set free..

    Kind regards Anne.

    • Hi Anne!!
      Thanks for the encouraging words. This is something I feel very strongly about because it happens more and more every day. Especially young people. I just want the word to get out they don’t have to keep it a secret and there is hope.
      In Christ,
      Scott

      • Hi Scott, perhaps I should Reblog this post, I do understand how you feel having been molested by 5 differant men from the age of 3 and the last one a Doctor raped me in my early teens.

        Sadly when I had a ministry to Atheists it was often brought up, they wanted to know how God could allow this to happen in the Churches, doesn’t He care, what I wrote to you is much the same as I use to write to them, they were very angry of course to confuse things they would then add there is no God.

        Christian Love Anne.

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