Hooking up, Shacking up, Divorce, Part 2.

Rita and John's Marriage Certificate

Rita and John’s Marriage Certificate (Photo credit: mary hodder)

   The absolute best thing for kids is to see their parents humble themselves, repent of their selfishness, forgive one another, and recommit their marriage. The convenience of one no-fault divorce has come to an extremely high price. And millions of innocent kids are forced to pay that price every year.—-The Resolution for Men

This quote came from a new book called The Resolution for Men which was authored by the Kendrick brothers who created the movies: Courageous, Facing the Giants and Fireproof. In the book, which goes along with the courageous bible study they talk about standing up and being a man. Not just any man but a Godfearing courageous man  who has resolved to give everything they have to God. Standing for Christ and not backing down from the truth.

The quote up above plainly states that if men would just get over their selfish desires, let go of their pride and take the leadership role of the household and commit their marriage to Christ, there would be a lot less divorces and children on the streets. Statistics show that a child needs their dad, period. If couples would give their marriage a fighting chance, and the husbands did what they had to do to be a man, the divorce rate wouldn’t be higher than inflation. Fathers today have succumbed to the Hollywood way of life by putting on such a façade that they have lost heart.

I know when my father passed away when I was a child I was left empty and alone which set forth a life of self-destruction. This usually happens when the father is gone in any child’s life weather by death or divorce, the child usually goes awol and escapes into a world of flesh and pleasure. Now this doesn’t happen to every child that loses a father, I have met a lot of people who turned out to be great God-fearing men, but the studies today say it’s getting worse. Aside from death and adultery, there is no reason for a marriage to just fall apart. (Remember, porn is adultery as well.) I can guarantee if husbands and fathers set the example, children today would be better off.

I have a passion for this topic as you guys have noticed I have blogged about it several times and thats because I hope to be a husband and a father someday, and the only way I can do that is by learning to be a Godly man. I don’t want my children growing up without a father and having those feelings of loneliness and emptiness or living the self-destructive life this pathetic society says is acceptable. I want to leave a legacy for my children based on the love of God and what Christ did for us at Calvary. This is my hope and desire.

So let me call you out again men, WERE ARE YOU?? Were are all the men who will fight the good fight and run their race for the sake of Christ? Were are you men who claim to be men but are just plain cowards with your pants down with someone that’s not your wife? Were are you men who play more video game than your kids and leave black marks under mom’s eye? The adulterer, the drunkard, the sloth, the angry and proud, are you not tired of letting society run your family? Step up, shut up, pull your pants up and MAN UP, its time to get right with God and lead your families for Christ.

Thanks for reading!!!! Be Blessed!!!!!!

The Good Life.

The Golf Club at Harbor Shores, Benton Harbor, MI

The Golf Club at Harbor Shores, Benton Harbor, MI (Photo credit: vanderhe1)

Man, I look like a lobster that spent too much time in the tanning bed! That’s what I get for spending 8 hours on the golf course. I wasn’t golfing because I don’t know a thing about the sport but I learned a great deal from my nephew and one of my best friends Mark. We were at the Senior PGA tour at The Golf Club at Harbor Shores and let me tell ya, it was a spectacular event. I got the tickets through work because the college I worked for let the PGA use one of their buildings and parking lots, and in return the PGA gave all the college employees two free tickets! (Just one of the many facets I love about my job)

We couldn’t have asked for better whether it was a high of 85 with a slight breeze and the course ran the course of the river and along side Lake Michigan. The seventh hole overlooked the lake and sat atop a sand dune and this was by far the best view of the lake I had every seen before. With a crisp blue color and the sun reflecting off of it, one could see that God is a great designer and artist. My friend Mark filled me in on the little things about golf; the rules a regulations, etiquette and such, but most importantly I was impressed with my nephew.

Nick has golfed for about a year in now in school, and at the age of 15 and a half, I was extremely impressed with the knowledge he had about the game. He was telling me about the different clubs they use and the purpose of the tees, right down to the course and the bunkers! Not bad for a 15-year-old who only has played a year. This brings me to scripture when Paul is writing to Timothy and gives him this charge; Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12

I love this verse because even though young people today has a lot of challenges, they can still claim their faith in Christ. Young people today have the potential to do great things, if only they lived by this verse. Don’t let ANYONE look down on you because you are young. When Paul says anyone, well that means us adults too. My nephew lives this verse because he strives to do better and grow more in the Lord. He quit the football team because he didn’t like the stuff that went on in the locker room. (for anyone that’s spent any amount of time in high school locker rooms, you’ll know what I mean.)

I praise God because Nick decided to keep morality over bad behavior, which in return the Lord has blessed him tremendously. I just wonder what the lives of young people today would be like if they strived for better morals  and a closer walk with God? Just think about it, if more young people had a relationship with Christ, and would stop at nothing to follow him and His way, we wouldn’t see young woman graduating from high school with 2 kids.  Unfortunately with everyone being offended by the word of God and trying to get God removed from anyone and everything, one can see why the world is going to hell in a handbag.

For me though, I will serve the Lord and continue the good fight and if you want to sue me or be offended for the things I write, or have me imprisoned for my faith, the very faith this country was founded on, good, because Christ won.

Thanks for reading!!!!! God bless!!!!!!!!!

Under the Mask.

Titian Barbies

Image via Wikipedia

When I was young, someone told me to be myself. Easier said than done but the only problem I had was I didn’t know who I was. It started at an early age, insecurity, doubt, dishonesty, low self-esteem. Self-worth wasn’t even in my vocabulary. I didn’t like looking in the mirror because I didn’t like the person staring back at me, and didn’t even know why. That was the bad thing was I didn’t even know why I felt this way. I tried to be like everyone else and in the end, it made me feel empty inside.

The good news is I don’t feel or think this way about myself anymore. I have learned that I was created in the image of my heavenly father and Christ died for my sins, so that in itself was enough, but also I have learned how much he loves me and wants a relationship with me. I still think sometimes how a righteous, perfect, loving God could want a relationship with this pathetic human that I am. i don’t ask any questions, I try to love Him to the best of my abilities, but I fail, that’s the beauty of His Grace.

Sadly, many people in the world today do the same thing I used to do. The put their masks on and pretend to be someone their really not. They spend lots of money to buy plastic parts for their body’s just to keep up with the neighbors. They buy expensive cars and big houses for no clear reason but to have them. Sorry, just because your married and have ten kids by nine different woman doesn’t constitute a house with 20 bedrooms and 15 bathrooms. But this is what society is made up of today, a bunch of Barbie’s and Kens running around aimlessly.

Just the other day someone was poking fun of me because of the car I drive. They said “your better than that piece of junk.” My response, “Oh so I am better than a car that’s paid for, my bad, excuse me a minute so I can go get in more debt with a car i cannot afford like you,” needless to say that was the end of the conversation and she went on about her business. Sad isn’t it? but it happens all the time. Plastic people trying to make the world a better place by making everyone else plastic, makes perfect sense.

Big cars, big houses, big hair, and lots of make up is what the world is about today to try and cover up the wonderful people God made. Ya see, if were made in His image, than whats the reason for make up? True story though if you think about it, look at that pathetic place called Hollywood. Theirs more plastic there than the majority of plastic company’s. The only thing those people have on us little people is a lot of expensive, worthless stuff that they have no idea what its all for.

Even Christians hide behind masks. Ohhhhh what you didn’t think I was going to leave us out did you? Christians are notorious for being the fakest people around. Not all but a lot. Look around the ones that put on their Sunday best, their pretty smile and say amen at everything the pastor says. Then once their out the doors their worldly face comes back and all is lost. trust me I was this way for a while until God opened my eyes about it. I was running around doing everything I could get my hands on that was Christian. I read books, indulged in windy arguments and proclaimed the Good News without a spirit. Then the Lord got a hold of me and said “Be still, and know that I am God.”

When your stopped in your tracks by the Man himself, you have a tendency to listen.   I started to love Him as He loved me, being obedient, and walking closer to Him, and what do you know, I started to feel comfortable in my own skin. This is what people are missing, being comfortable in their own skin, and how awesome it is. This tells me that God loves me for who I am and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do about it. This was the point in my life when my self-esteem started to develop and my self-worth was growing, because I realized one valuable thing, Without Jesus Christ, i am nothing, period.

Thanks for reading!!! Be Blessed!

If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes.

English: A brick wall in Giza, Egypt.

Image via Wikipedia

I was hit between the eyes when I first heard this one. There was an older gentleman that used to come to meetings with 20+ years of sobriety and this was one of his big sayings. I heard it many times before, but never knew the exact meaning of it. One night after a meeting I pulled him aside and asked him what it meant, his definition still holds true to this day, “Insanity, repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

My jaw dropped when he told me this because for years I had always tried the same old thing, but in the end, got the same result. Talk about an “ah ha” moment. This was the very thing I was doing my whole life and never understood why I wasn’t making any progress. I wasn’t changing. I stayed the same cruel, womanizing, drunk and I expected everyone else to change to suit my needs. As I have found out it doesn’t work that way. I cannot stay the same person and expect things to be different. Nope, I have to let God change my heart, and give me fresh insight, before I can make any change.

When i sobered up I didn’t know how to change. I didn’t know the first thing about it, but I knew I had to, or else I was headed back to the bottle. So I started asking questions, lots of questions and of course, I got a lot of answers, but none seemed right. So I went to the one who know’s all about change, and that’s the unchanging Gog. Kinda of a paradox isn’t it? The unchanging God know’s about change? Yep.

He is the unchanging, He is, and always will be God, deal with it. We, on the other hand are detestable humans far short of the glory of God. We need Him, to change us, by faith in His Son Jesus Christ, period. Humans are incapable of change without Him, it doesn’t work, I’ve tried. I hit my head against the brick wall many times and one thing I learned, that brick wall hurt! When Christ came into my heart, that was the first step to change. He does things in us that we could have only dreamed of. He changed this drunken, pathetic, lifeless, dead man walking  into  God-fearing man, so I know it’s possible, just with Him giving me strength.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still bump my head against the brick wall a time or two,(everyday) but it’s not as bad as it used to be. I try to learn from my mistakes, though i fail, Christ is there to pick me up and set me straight. Today I embrace change because I know it has to happen. Human beings have to continue to change, daily, if not, were nothing more than we used to be.

Thanks for reading!!! Be Blessed!!!!!!!

Problems of a Different Kind.

Problem Alert

Problem Alert (Photo credit: Krypto)

“I have problems in areas where I used to not have areas.” This is a little unknown quote that floats around Alcoholics Anonymous quietly, but subtle, and with much power. When I first heard it I really didn’t understand it until someone explained it to me. I was told that after we have been sober for a while, we have different problems than what we used to have, these are “High Class’ problems and they are a blessing. I know what your thinking “how can a problem be a blessing?” Well let me try to help you understand.

When we were drinking and being absurd people we threw a finger in the air and laughed at conviviality. We tipped our nose to people who didn’t do the things we do all the while  wishing we could do the things they were doing.   We strive to do the right thing only to come up short by way of the bottle. Our intentions are good but they only lead to hell.  Our problems are mainly all our making and taking responsibility for our own actions are just absurd. We love the “blame” game and will have nothing to do with integrity or values. We tip the bottle more in hopes of a new day only to wake to the same old thing. When I was drinking I had a job, (barely), I had an apartment, but got evicted, I had a cell phone with no minutes and I had a car, but no drivers license.

These are all problems due to excess selfishness and failure to be accountable to our responsibilities. They are preventable and sad and there is a way to change. Get sober, period. Today, my life is better than it has ever been and its a direct result of The Grace of God and I take no credit for anything. My problems now consist of running out of cat food or having the car fixed or making sure rent is payed on time. Today I don’t just have a job, which means Just-Over-Broke, I have a career and I go to school. My biggest problem today is making sure I get good grade. These are my problems today and I love them.

When I came to Christ, He changed me, and is continuing to change me in way I never thought possible. One thing I have to remember is the problems I have today, are a heck of a lot better than they used to be, and there not as big as God. I have to remember that we serve a big God and nothing is to big for God.  The only thing that stops us from giving our problems to God is when we give our problems to man. Big mistake I have found out, even though I love my friends I have today, they are still human and still let us down. I have to hand them over to a loving God before anything, then He guides me in the right way.

Today I still have problem, I am human, so I have them. But they are by far better problems than the life I lived before Christ. Today I don’t worry about going to jail, or for that fact, when I’m getting out of jail. Thats a problem I’m truly grateful for not having.

Thanks for reading!!!! Be Blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Footwork Arrows

Image via Wikipedia

Man what a busy week, thank God it’s almost over. between work and school I haven’t had much time to blog, but its way better than the way I used to live.  Before I came to Christ I was just thankful to be able to get drunk, and that’s it. Today I am much more grateful than that and the Lord has been prodding me to do a blog on this and that’s “doing the footwork.” Now what do I mean by this and how can it be applied to everyday life? I’m glad you asked, let me explain.

When I first sobered up, it was amazing and exciting. The rush of going to church and bible studies and meetings with other alcoholics, and some of the experiences I had were just awesome. But I would not have been able to do any of this if I wasn’t willing to do the work it requires to stay sober and follow Jesus. This is where a lot of people mess up I believe because living “the good life” requires work. Yes the Lord loves us and yes He saved us by dying on the cross for my sins, now what? Thats the big question, what do you do after you come to Christ?

There’s more to being a Christian than just being a “Christian”. It requires a personal relationship with Christ, with other believers, studying the bible and going to church. I’ve heard it said many times that just because I’m a Christian, doesn’t mean I have to go to church everyday. Um, yes it does. It means that you need to go to church and learn God’s word now more than ever. Listen, the best quarterbacks in the NFL didn’t become the best by only going to practice once in a while, or only reading the play book when it fit their schedule. No, the have spent countless hours watching tape, reading play books, and practicing hard everyday. Being a Christian is no different. We have to study the word, not just read it, but study it like were studying for a test. We have to go to church and tithe and fellowship with other Christians, because this is how the spirit of God works.

The Christian life isn’t a bunch of peaches and roses all the time, sometimes it’s plain hard, but Jesus didn’t come to bring peace, he came with a sword. We have to work hard everyday at becoming a better Christian, better husband or wife, better children ect.. The point is we have to do the work. God gives us clear direction and its up to us to be courageous enough to follow Him and be obedient to Him, and that takes work.

One thing I have learned is just because I’m a Christian doesn’t entitle me to be lazy. It does, however, entitle me to the healing hand of God and redemption. Everyday I have to work to know God more and to love Him more, because if I don’t, I know where I’ll end up, and trust me, this side of the fence is a lot sweeter. Today is a day that I make this declaration; Christ is everything or he isn’t. Today I know He is everything. How about you?

Thanks for reading!!!!! Be Blessed!!!!!!!!


Live and let Live.

Cover of "Forgive and Forget"

Cover of Forgive and Forget

“One great piece of mischief has been done by the modern restriction of the word Temperance to the question of drink. It helps people to forget that you can be just as intemperate about lots of other things.” C.S. Lewis.

C.S. Lewis even understood the importance of alcoholism, saying basically we forget about anything else other than alcohol. I know I did when I was running the streets and parting like a rock star on a McDonald’s budget. I didn’t have one notion of what was good or what was wrong. When i came into AA this phrase really hit me, live and let live. I really didn’t understand what it meant, so me being the inquisitive person I was, I asked my sponsor and what he told me still holds true today.

He said in effect “It gives us permission to be respectable humans and not hold grudges, and let go of resentments and bitterness.” This was good news because I had many resentments at the time and I was bitter. I was bitter because I still couldn’t understand how my life had turned into such a mess. I had a lot of resentments toward a lot of people, my father being one of them, for leaving this world when I was a boy. My resentments defined me and I had no intention of letting them go. But I knew, deep down, I had to if I was to stay sober.

Live and let Live has taught me to forgive and forget and to move on with life. Alcoholics pride themselves on remembering everyone in our past who has wronged us, only to realize, we are the only ones that still remember the wrong done in very precise detail, all the while the one who harmed us has long forgotten the silly incident. That’s insanity if you ask me! Alcoholics have a very special way of hurting themselves with only the memory of a wrong. We think about it night and day, grind our teeth when that person id mentioned and go to unspeakable heights to bring agony to this person that could careless that they hurt us.

Today, I don’t let the little things bother me, nor the big things, I have learned to live and let live. I no longer run circles chasing my tail or chasing anyone else’s tail. Christ has taught me that forgiveness starts with myself. I have to forgive myself as well as other people seeing how that was the biggest message He sent went He died on the cross for our sins. He forgave me so I have to forgive others as well. Because resentment cuts me off from God and I don’t want that to happen anymore seeing how I was cut off for so long.

Today, Live and let Live provides me with the ability to move on with my life and not to replay the tapes in my head(Alcoholics everywhere should know what that means.),  to let go of resentments and hurts and let the Grace of God begin. I strive everyday to become a better person through scripture and other books I read, but nothing gives me more enjoyment than giving up those old resentments. When I did my 5th step of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous I was elated because I let God have all my baggage and misfortunes, and He has turned them into priceless jewels that I can share with others.

I hope you have gained some understanding about the harm of resentments and letting go. It’s not easy I understand this, that’s why we ask a loving God to give us the strength to be able to do this, because we are weak humans and we need His help and guidance more than anything.

Do you need to “Live and Let Live” today? Do you have resentments from years ago that is impacting your life more than the offenders? Christ said “take my yoke, and cast all your cares unto Him”, will you cast your cares unto Him today?

Thanks for reading!!!!! Be Blessed!!!!