Lord Jesus, I am a sinner. Come into my heart, forgive me of my sins. Thank you for dying on the cross to save me” in Jesus name amen. These words are what saved my life those years ago. Now I’m not to sure if those were the exact words I said but never the less I said them. I’ve said them many time over the years as well, at least once a year to re-dedicate my self to Christ.  After I said that simple prayer I stood up and paused for a moment thinking back over my life. This was the best decision I had ever made before in my life and I was scared. Because every-time I made some kind of “good” decision, I always messed it up, and this was something I didn’t want to mess up. This was important to me because I had failed at everything in my life and I didn’t want to fail Jesus.

Standing there after I made my decision for Christ, I had so many people come up and give me a hug and they were there to support me. People I had never, ever met before in my life! Now imagine how I felt. After years of being told you were a failure, that you were never going to amount to more than the dirt on my shoe, now I was being told God had great things planned for my life and that with Him all things were possible. I couldn’t understand why all these people were being nice to me and that old way of thinking started up again “whats the catch?” I wondered to myself as we made our way out the door.

The church was packed that day and as we made our way out into the foyer, a couple of the elders came up to me and the words they spoke to me still ring fresh in my head to this very day. “Welcome to the family of God, now the devil will be attacking you more than ever”. WHAT!!!!  This is why I made the decision for Christ so the devil would leave me alone! So why on earth is the devil going to be attacking me more than ever? I just wanted to cry. The look on my face was that of a small child being told to stay out of the cookie jar.

I was silent for the next few moments and as my sponsor and I made our way out to the truck, he asked me “Scott why are you not rejoicing?” “Kinda hard to rejoice when I was just told the devil is waiting for me. That all the years on the streets I thought I had met the devil and I didn’t want him back in my life.” I told my sponsor what was said and he looked at me with love in his eyes, “The devil is always going to attack us when we try to do great things for God”. At that very moment years of pain fell to the wayside and I took a deep breath and replied ” You mean I’m gonna do great things for God?”

Ya see, when we make the decision for Christ, and when we do great things for God, the devil is always waiting around the corner to ambush us. To make us trip and look a fool. One thing i have learned is self-pity is a great weapon of Satan. He likes to tell us that were “no good” and “were useless”, thus starting the cycle of self-pity. But we have a victor and his name is Jesus Christ! Thats why he died on the cross. To give us a hope like never before and to ensure us victory over Satan. He defeated Satan that day on the cross and all we need to do is believe in Christ. Wholeheartedly, unwavering faith in Christ.

So let me ask you my friend, who do you believe in today?

So I became a Christian!! So why did I still feel like a washed up drunk? Check back next time to hear about a weekend that opened my eyes. Thanks for reading! Be Blessed!

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.-James 1:22 


5 thoughts on “Confessions.

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