Tag Archives: Sobriety

If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes.

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English: A brick wall in Giza, Egypt.

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I was hit between the eyes when I first heard this one. There was an older gentleman that used to come to meetings with 20+ years of sobriety and this was one of his big sayings. I heard it many times before, but never knew the exact meaning of it. One night after a meeting I pulled him aside and asked him what it meant, his definition still holds true to this day, “Insanity, repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

My jaw dropped when he told me this because for years I had always tried the same old thing, but in the end, got the same result. Talk about an “ah ha” moment. This was the very thing I was doing my whole life and never understood why I wasn’t making any progress. I wasn’t changing. I stayed the same cruel, womanizing, drunk and I expected everyone else to change to suit my needs. As I have found out it doesn’t work that way. I cannot stay the same person and expect things to be different. Nope, I have to let God change my heart, and give me fresh insight, before I can make any change.

When i sobered up I didn’t know how to change. I didn’t know the first thing about it, but I knew I had to, or else I was headed back to the bottle. So I started asking questions, lots of questions and of course, I got a lot of answers, but none seemed right. So I went to the one who know’s all about change, and that’s the unchanging Gog. Kinda of a paradox isn’t it? The unchanging God know’s about change? Yep.

He is the unchanging, He is, and always will be God, deal with it. We, on the other hand are detestable humans far short of the glory of God. We need Him, to change us, by faith in His Son Jesus Christ, period. Humans are incapable of change without Him, it doesn’t work, I’ve tried. I hit my head against the brick wall many times and one thing I learned, that brick wall hurt! When Christ came into my heart, that was the first step to change. He does things in us that we could have only dreamed of. He changed this drunken, pathetic, lifeless, dead man walking  into  God-fearing man, so I know it’s possible, just with Him giving me strength.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still bump my head against the brick wall a time or two,(everyday) but it’s not as bad as it used to be. I try to learn from my mistakes, though i fail, Christ is there to pick me up and set me straight. Today I embrace change because I know it has to happen. Human beings have to continue to change, daily, if not, were nothing more than we used to be.

Thanks for reading!!! Be Blessed!!!!!!!

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Problems of a Different Kind.

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Problem Alert

Problem Alert (Photo credit: Krypto)

“I have problems in areas where I used to not have areas.” This is a little unknown quote that floats around Alcoholics Anonymous quietly, but subtle, and with much power. When I first heard it I really didn’t understand it until someone explained it to me. I was told that after we have been sober for a while, we have different problems than what we used to have, these are “High Class’ problems and they are a blessing. I know what your thinking “how can a problem be a blessing?” Well let me try to help you understand.

When we were drinking and being absurd people we threw a finger in the air and laughed at conviviality. We tipped our nose to people who didn’t do the things we do all the while  wishing we could do the things they were doing.   We strive to do the right thing only to come up short by way of the bottle. Our intentions are good but they only lead to hell.  Our problems are mainly all our making and taking responsibility for our own actions are just absurd. We love the “blame” game and will have nothing to do with integrity or values. We tip the bottle more in hopes of a new day only to wake to the same old thing. When I was drinking I had a job, (barely), I had an apartment, but got evicted, I had a cell phone with no minutes and I had a car, but no drivers license.

These are all problems due to excess selfishness and failure to be accountable to our responsibilities. They are preventable and sad and there is a way to change. Get sober, period. Today, my life is better than it has ever been and its a direct result of The Grace of God and I take no credit for anything. My problems now consist of running out of cat food or having the car fixed or making sure rent is payed on time. Today I don’t just have a job, which means Just-Over-Broke, I have a career and I go to school. My biggest problem today is making sure I get good grade. These are my problems today and I love them.

When I came to Christ, He changed me, and is continuing to change me in way I never thought possible. One thing I have to remember is the problems I have today, are a heck of a lot better than they used to be, and there not as big as God. I have to remember that we serve a big God and nothing is to big for God.  The only thing that stops us from giving our problems to God is when we give our problems to man. Big mistake I have found out, even though I love my friends I have today, they are still human and still let us down. I have to hand them over to a loving God before anything, then He guides me in the right way.

Today I still have problem, I am human, so I have them. But they are by far better problems than the life I lived before Christ. Today I don’t worry about going to jail, or for that fact, when I’m getting out of jail. Thats a problem I’m truly grateful for not having.

Thanks for reading!!!! Be Blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The Winners Circle.

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Winners & Losers

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All my life I was told not to “hang out” with the wrong type of people. I never really understood this until I was a bit older. The wrong type, the trouble makers, the so-called bad boys, those were the one’s that ended up in detention or suspension, which really was not the place I wanted to be, but somehow always ended up there. I was your quintessential bad boy, John Wayne wanna be that rebelled against any kind of authority. I lived a long time this way and all it did was cause me more misery and pain. A few years after high school I started running with some people even James Dean would turn his nose at.

When I sobered up my sponsor told me to “stick with the winners”, which was all fine and dandy, but I had one question;” Who the heck are the winners?” I had run with the tough crowd for so long, I couldn’t spot a winner if he was right in front of me! Late one night I pondered this novel bit of wisdom and after some deep soul-searching I came to this conclusion; The people I hung out with were always getting into fights and going to jail, so, if I don’t hang out with these type’s, I wont go to jail or get into fights either.

Now for most people this advice is simple, but for the alcoholic of the hopeless variety that I was, I complicated the heck out of everything. So sticking with the winners was especially true, because I wasn’t a winner and wasn’t associated with any. Since I was fresh out of water, I let God guide me to the real winners of life and my sponsor was a big part in that as well. He helped me to figure out who was health for my sobriety and who wasn’t and I still do this today. One of the biggest parts of sobriety is healthy, serene, long-term recovering alcoholics that have done this for a while.

We have to surround ourselves with positive, God-fearing people, if we want to have somewhat of a happy sobriety. These are the one’s that are going to meetings, working the steps, and have other qualities that you like, then you stick to them like glue on paper! I know I did when I started to find out who the winners were and who the losers were. After some time of hanging out with quality people, I , myself started to develop some good qualities and people were noticing.

Birds flock together and the same is with humans. Especially drunks, we tend to stick with the drunks, because that’s all we know how to do. We did unspeakable things and indecent acts just to show we were cool, all the while people were laughing at us calling us the fool. Today I’m influenced by a lot of wonderful people who  I’m grateful to, they teach me right from wrong and show me how to live according to God’s plan and not my own. They teach me love and respect not disrespect and hate, and they encourage me in everything I do. These are the one’s I want to be around today, and my favorite part; No one is going to jail!

Thanks for reading!!! Be Blessed!!!!!!

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If you don’t drink, you won’t get drunk.

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An Alcoholics Anonymous Regional Service Cente...

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You can almost imagine my facial expression when I heard this one. “If you don’t drink, you wont get drunk,” and their i sat pondering this novel idea as if it were some new aged idea that was just seen on Oprah. I felt a little overwhelmed at the whole idea of “not drinking” that all I could do was think about drinking. But this little quote has deep meaning and has impacted the life’s of many.

Not drinking  in my opinion is the easy part, it’s the blood, sweat, and tears after you put the plug in the jug that sends people back out. There’s what we call “sobriety” and then their is the “dry drunk.” Their is a difference. I would be inclined to say that if a man quits drinking without taking a deep look at himself and makes a conscious contact with God, he’s doomed to repeat the futility of life that he once new. Strong words, but true. Alcoholism consumes mans inner most thoughts, it destroys more life’s than anything else, and if your not careful it can reduce any dreams or goals you ever had in life.

Sobriety is when you make an effort to change as well as not drinking. Trust me, when us alcoholics quit drinking, there’s a whole lot of things that need to be changed. We cannot change these things on our own because were weak humans. We need the strength of an all loving God to help us through this process. Our weaknesses are His glory and His glory becomes my strength. The process of change is never easy, especially for us, because we want to do things our own way. We think we can do it all the while messing things up as we go. We need the encouragement of others and the care of God if we are to stay sober

Dry drunk‘s are the one’s that flat out quit drinking, but still no change has taken place in their life’s. It’s called “white knuckling” or obsessed thought process, however you want to say it. Their the ones that are not happy drinking or sober and adding alcohol is like adding kerosene to a fire. All they can think about is taking a drink, or drinking, but no they can’t so they become bitter and indigenous. These are the one’s that don’t think they have a problem and hence, don’t try to change or even think about going to get help. Dry drunks think they have everything figured out and in reality their life is in much despair.

The only hope I believe is God, period. he is the one that put’s our feet on the right path, and brings people into our life to help and encourage us. That’s how we get sober and that’s how we have life. Anything less is just existing. Sobriety is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but it’s been the most fulfilling life events that I’ve ever experienced(accepting Christ has been the ultimate fulfillment though).  There has been times that i have wanted to give in and through down a few, but then i realize that life was only fantasy and pain. I’ve had my ups and downs, I’m human, I just remember were I came from and were I don’t want to go again. I remember my last drunk and it was painful. Painful enough to bring me to my knees and call out to a loving God for help.

Let me ask you my friend, are you in pain today? Has alcohol beat you bad enough that you can’t see straight? There is help, I promise you there is help. Millions of people have sobered up from this monster disease and you can to.

Take my hand, hold my hand, shed some tears with me and let me introduce you to “LIFE of the better kind.”

Thanks for reading!!! Be Blessed!!!!!

 

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Changing seats on the Titanic.

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Cover of "Titanic (Three-Disc Special Col...

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“Changing addictions is like changing seats on the Titanic,” was one of the first quotes I heard when I sobered up and the place busted out into laughter. I really didn’t understand this as I was fresh off the streets and in the beginning stages of the D.T.’s so you can see why I was the only one in the room not laughing. The speaker, however, did make a very good point, there’s no difference in one addiction to another.

I have seen many people try to substitute one for another and say their sober, well it doesn’t work that way. There’s more to being sober than being sober, we have to work hard at it everyday. One slight move and it can be all over for us drunks. Sobriety is living a different life than what we’re used to, and that means old ideas and even old friends have to go. The road to true success in sobriety is not the quantity of years that your sober, but the quality.

Too many people know they have a problem, but they don’t want to do anything about it, just for the fact that sobriety means complete abstinence. No booze, or drugs. But switching from booze to drugs or vice verse is only one of the ways I have seen people switch. Pornography to alcohol or the opposite is just the same. Not to mention obesity, gambling, or anything that takes your focus from God.

I know in my life i have struggled with pornography more than once. Late nights at the video store, running fast to the check out and driving frantically to get home. These were things I did even after I had sobered up, but I was switching from booze to porn, no difference. Then came the day I was asked if I wanted to serve God whole heatedly that things I used to do, had to go. I gave up porn for the fact it serves no justice to anyone. And today I’m grateful to God for seeing me through another addiction.

I’m not saying I’m perfect by no means, all I’m saying is sobriety consists of a new life found in Christ. Period. Without His gentleness and forgiveness, I wouldn’t be here telling my story. He has made everything possible in my life that I am doing now. Today, I have chosen to serve God and not any addiction the world says is O.K. But the most important thing is helping others who have the same problems.

Thats what we’re called to do in life after God has cleaned us up, were to share with others how He did it. It’s my mission in life to help as many addicts or alcoholics that I can. Thats one reason I started this blog with the hope of some poor soul on a late night binge or looking for the next fix, may come across this and have an experience like none other. There’s no better felling in the world than watch someone’s face light up when you tell them there is a way out.

Please blogger friends, if you know of anyone that is struggling, put this blog in front of them. If not this one, something else to help them, because everyday at least 156 people die of addiction, I really don’t want to see that number go any higher.

Thanks for reading!!!!! Be blessed!!!!!!!!!

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Putting the Kart before the Horse.

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The next year went by rather fast, and sobriety had it rewards. No doubt about it I was in a better place than I was before. My mind had cleared, spiritually i was growing closer to a God that I never knew before. I was gaining weight and color was starting to come back to this once pale body. Alcohol abuse does this kind of damage to a person and a lot of time, it can be worse. So yea I was feeling good.

The following year around June I believe a friend of mine had a house for sale. I was looking to move out of my mom’s house and try it on my own, again. I was working back at the job I had before i quit drinking and actually was making decent money. I had bought a new car and things where looking up. (Have you noticed where I failed  yet?, keep reading and you will.) So I thought, well, its time to buy a house. One usually wants to make small steps when getting out on his own again, especially after pissing everything i had away, then trying to rebuild after 3 years of sobriety. Nope, not me, it was go big or not at all. (Can you see were i messed up?)

By the end of August the deal was done, and I had bought a house. (Dumb!). Yea buddy, this one time broke down, drunk and homeless degenerate, bought a house. It was a lovely place with 3 bedrooms, living room, kitchen, garage, sun room. Yup, everything(Except God).  Before you know it the bills started to pile in and fear had crept in because I wasn’t making the kind off money I thought. That was my problem, my budget was all in my mind!! Nope, no writing it down, no graph paper, not even the slightest hint of a written budget! And to top things off I had forgotten about God!

I was still praying don’t get me wrong, but i wasn’t being sincere about it. I was, well, just like the title states, putting the” kart before the horse”, or doing things first, without really seeking God first. In my heart of hearts, I knew i had no business buying a house, especially without consulting in God. “Man I was in a mess” I thought laying in bed one night.

After months of trying to swing it, and getting no were, I finally called out to God, just like I did that first time a few years prior.  (Guess what? He was still there, it was I that moved.) After that, I slept like a baby. Over several months the house went into foreclosure, that job i had, well, I got a promotion, then a few months after the promotion, I got fired, and the girl I was dating at the time was no were to be found. Through all this by the grace of God, I made it through this sober, but it hurt!

So, what happened? Nothings different here, you’ll have to check back next time and see were God takes me next and here about how God turns a complete mess, like I had created, and turned it into something amazing! Thanks for reading!! Be Blessed!!!

My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity. Proverbs 3:1-2, NIV- Quest Bible.

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The Plan of a Lifetime.

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When my sister told me I needed a plan I was confused. Confused for the fact that i never needed a plan before in my life. The plan i lived by worked just fine, so I thought. Work, get drunk, chase woman. A plan i had master oh so well for a while anyways. I was indestructible so i thought and the way i was doing things worked. REALLY!!? Thats why I called crying to mom. Thats why everything i had ever known, wasn’t the best way to live.  Word to the wise; what you see in a movie, leave it there. Don’t take it with you!

So Thanksgiving weekend came and went, and what a wonderful time I had with the family. Probably because i was sober and could enjoy myself without trying to escape like i usually do to find my companion for the night, or a bar stool i could fall off of.(  I was usually really good about that one!) By the end of the weekend i was extremely tired and it felt good for a change to just relax, this is where I started my obsession with ice cream, and it was so good!!

The following Monday my mother and i took off and went to get my cases cleared up in court. All I ended up with was court fines, probation, some court ordered rehab classes and something called A.A. (Alcoholics Anonymous). “Well, this is just great, my life had led straight to hell” so i thought. I was being ordered to go to a place were only the guy under the bridge belonged right. Ya know,  the guy with the brown bag that he kept chugging from. I was being sent to the place were “Those People” go. Great.

As we met with the probation officer, the kind woman she was, really put it to me this way. “Either you sober up, straighten up, stand up, and Man Up, you’re looking at 3 years in prison.” Now, keep in mind that prison is a totally different beast compared to the county jail. I had heard stories of the “Joint”  in slang terms and i really wasn’t impressed with the idea. When i was in jail i met a few guys that were headed to prison and just the emptiness about them would make a blizzard in January feel warm. They were cold and lifeless with no remorse of the crimes they committed. So i was aware of the place, yet hadn’t made it that far.

So a hard decision I had to make; Sober up, or off to prison. Seeing how i wasn’t really impressed with the “going to prison” thing i figured i would try this Sober thing. I really never gave much of a shot to anything in my life so, what the heck, Sobriety, here i come! Yes sir, that good ol town drunk, the life of the party, the king of all party’s, was Sober! Joy.

Now at this point in my life I was ready to try anything, because the way i was doing it just wasn’t working anymore, and i started to lose hope. My options were few, but wise. Sitting at the dinner table that night i realized that woman known as my probation officer just offered me the plan of a lifetime! My sister said i need a plan, and i got it! I couldn’t go another day thinking that i knew it all, because i didn’t. I knew nothing, that’s how i got myself into the situation im in, cause i knew it all!  Us former drunks are known for one thing, we know it all!! What a crock!!! The next time you hear someone say,”I got this” Smack them in the head to knock some sense into them!

If you hadn’t figured it out by now, this is my blog, my story, how i realized i couldn’t do it anymore! I have a passion for Christ, but also i have a passion for helping people to sober up. This is what im called to do and i believe it to the depths of my soul. Alcoholism destroys more lives than anything. It sucks the life out of you and turns you into a coward. Please, if you come across my blog and feel the way I felt, you’re not alone, there is help. Will you join me?

So I was given a plan. An offer to actually do something with my life other than counting how many pieces of gum are under a bar stool. This plan required something that i had never experienced before, ever! Check back next time to see what is around the corner. Thanks for reading, Be Blessed!!!

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.” John 4:34

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